Gini’s Story
Written by: Maggie Harper
Gini Cardwell is a mom who has it all together. At least that’s how it appears from the outside looking in. She attained both an undergraduate and graduate degree in Elementary Education and taught in the Rockingham County School System for five years. She now sells insurance, transitioning her training into a niche as the “insurance educator.” She and her partner Josh have been together for 17 years, and have a one year old son who bears Gini’s surname as his first: Cardwell. Gini is a Rockingham County native, loves the area, and is well integrated in the community. To the casual observer, Gini is the perfectly adjusted mother. But it isn’t that simple.
Though she had a master’s degree in education, she was no master parent at first. In fact, she laughs, “Josh and I always thought we’d be nothing more than fur parents.” Their son Cardwell was “a huge surprise.” Gini didn’t know what parenting an infant looked like; she hadn’t anticipated being a mom. The fact she got pregnant at the start of the COVID-19 pandemic did little to ease her fears. She felt isolated, unable to swap anxieties and advice with fellow expectant mothers in doctors’ waiting rooms, and removed from seasoned friends years down the parenting road.
When Cardwell was born, his presence was great. He weighed ten pounds, and was experiencing some growth development issues. Gini was unsure of what to do. She reminisces, “I felt unprepared and alone in motherhood, which made me feel insecure because I had a Master’s in Education!” Though she had trained for years for this moment, Gini wasn’t the parenting natural she hoped she’d be.
One day shortly after Cardwell’s birth, Gini and a friend were having lunch and exchanging stories. When Gini shared her feelings of inadequacy in terms of parenting, her friend encouraged her to call April Cox, the Executive Director of the Rockingham County Partnership for Children and a mutual acquaintance of theirs. Gini was hesitant. She was familiar with the Partnership from her career in education, but was unsure of exactly what they did and for whom their services were intended. She also didn’t want a stranger coming into her home and judging her for her parenting style. Gini believed that involving RCPC would cause more anxiety than it would relieve.
But her friend was insistent, and took it upon herself to call April on Gini’s behalf. April’s response was enthusiastic: “This is exactly what we’re here for!” Gini enrolled her family in the Parents as Teachers (PAT) Program, and states, “It was life-changing.” Lissette, the Family Services Support Coordinator, now speaks with Gini’s family once a month. The meetings are casual. Gini and Josh sit on the floor while Cardwell runs around playing. Lissette Zooms in and talks them through whatever issues they have been facing with their son. Says Gini, “The fact-based evidence and researched practices she gives us eliminates the “I don’t know.” We talk about methods like gentle parenting that Josh and I never experienced. It’s almost like a therapy session, because we’re unlearning some of the trauma from our childhoods by doing things differently with Cardwell.”
Lissette provides activities to help Cardwell meet important milestones, and is always accessible. “When Cardwell has a meltdown, I’m texting Lissette in the midst of it for advice,” shares Gini. “She validates my concerns and never speaks from a place of judgement.”
Gini’s anxieties about reaching out to the Partnership were calmed in the first meeting with Lissette. If it hadn’t been for a caring friend to foster the introduction, pride and fear would have prevented her from forming a bond that continually elevates her parenting. For Gini and her family, the monthly meetings are a reset. “You know what to do,” she says, “But sometimes life gets in the way. The PAT meetings help you refocus on the child.” A mother’s intuition is never wrong, but sometimes it falls short. Often when it comes to setting their children up for success, parents have the instincts but not the skills. RCPC brings expertise to the table that turns every parent into the total package. Even a trained educator and involved community member like Gini found herself falling short of perfection. She says, “Being a mom is a humbling experience. It’s okay to ask for help.” The Rockingham County Partnership for Children is there with the tools to make everyone into the parent their child deserves.
